We live in a pretty fast-paced, go-get-‘em, hustle-bustle world. The word busy is one that often best describes how we’ve been, how we are, how we’re going to be. We’re being pushed and pulled from many different angles: work, school, activities, obligations, friends and family (God love ‘em, but sometimes they can be very demanding). Have you said any of the following recently? “I’m so busy at work.” “I’m really busy with all this homework.” “I can’t, I’m too busy.” “If weren’t so busy, I would.” All this busy-ness can lead to neglecting something that we all need: personal time.
I’ve seen people burn out, break down, and be downright miserable because they’ve neglected, forgotten, felt guilty about, or were just too busy to remember that putting some time aside for themselves is not only good for them, it’s important and healthy to do. It isn’t selfish at all to put aside some time for yourself. You're allowed to. You're entitled to it. In fact, I would encourage it. We all need personal time to decompress, to defragment, to clear our minds, to recharge our batteries. And there are many different ways in which people take some personal time. Some sing or play a musical instrument, some exercise (yoga and jogging being among the two most popular that I can think of), some pray, some meditate, some nap, some take a hot bath. There are a host of things that you can do for yourself and in no way should you feel guilty in allowing yourself some me-time on a monthly, weekly, daily basis. I know a number of people who take 20 minutes, 30 minutes, 45 minutes, an hour a day just for themselves. They swear by it. And I’ve seen them when they haven’t taken that alone time, that me-time...they can be wound up tighter than the string in a baseball and I wish they WOULD take some time for themselves because I know it does them a world of good. I can think of two friends, specifically. One does yoga, and not to stay limber, not for staying in shape (though those are two positive side effects of yoga), but because there are certain poses and certain combinations of poses that help him in areas he needs that day: vitality, grounding, rejuvenation, presence, igniting...these are just some examples. Another friend jogs, five times a week. He has a stressful job and he’s said that going jogging after work is therapeutic. It allows him to take some time for himself and shed the built up stress from the day.
All this to say that you are important, not only to others in your life, but to you. You are important to you and taking some time and doing things for you is a great way to remind yourself of your importance to you.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
An Open Letter on Self-Worth
As humans, we’re curious by nature. We are especially curious about how others think and feel about us. Are we respected, are we liked, are we loved, are we their friend, are we good enough? The answer is yes!
Some people, both past and present, have been deemed great; they have done great things to make the world a better place, whether it be on a small scale, or globally. It has been said that everyone is destined for greatness. The issue I have with that statement lies in the term destined. I’m on the fence when it comes to destiny, pre-determination, fate. I believe that we have been given free will, the ability to make choices along the way on our life-path. However, I do believe that everyone has the potential for greatness, and that everyone actually achieves this greatness.
Of course, determining self-worth or greatness can be a very subjective thing. There are also varying degrees of greatness. Different levels, if you will. And we, ourselves, are not always the ones who determine our own greatness or self-worth. If asked if she were a great person who has done great things, Mother Teresa (who few would argue her greatness) would probably down-play all that she had achieved and accomplished. Did she know that she was helping so many people? Probably. But she was also a very humble person. At the end of the film “Schindler’s List”, Oskar Schindler (again, few would debate the great deeds he did in helping save thousands of Jews from Nazi concentration camps) seemed to feel like he hadn’t done enough; that he could have helped more people if he’d had more time, if pawned his ring, and so on, and tried just a little harder. He is a good example of how often we are much harder on ourselves than we ought to be. Others can see the great things that we’ve done and rarely think that we could or should have done more. These two people are good examples of people who have achieved greatness on a large scale. And these people are few and far between (though there are many, many, many unsung heroes who have done or are doing as much good, if not more, in the world who have not received the kind of recognition that Mother Teresa or Oskar Schinlder have received). But you can be great and you will achieve...you ARE achieving greatness on a different level, on a different plane than they right now. And is that any more or less significant? Not in the least. It’s just different.
Self-worth is often determined by others. Can we determine our own self-worth? Yes, we can, but I will guarantee that the level we deem for ourselves will be far lower than it actually is (unless you’re an egomaniac). Determining self-worth and greatness is something that sometimes others measure for us. It is the way others feel about you. It is from the gestures (be they small or large) you offer someone. It can be in a smile, in a greeting, in helping someone, in making someone feel special, in being generous, in being understanding, in being there, in making them laugh, sometimes all it is is taking the time to listen when someone needs to talk. The relationships you’ve formed, the friendships you have, and the way your friends feel about you determines your greatness. And your friends think you're amazing. Why? Because you're special to them. You're important to them. They look up to you and see you differently than you see yourself. They aspire to be like you, just like sometimes you wish you could be more like them. Here's a secret: the way you feel about your friends and family and how much you love them is probably how they feel about you. Don't forget that. Does that mean that friends and family won't ever get on your nerves? No. They will. And some friends will come and some will go, but your true friends stick by you no matter what. If you feel like you're all alone, don't be afraid to reach out to family and/or friends. Never be afraid to ask for their help. (Sorry about that tangent, I get carried away sometimes with my thoughts ... but I felt it needed to be said. Getting back to what I was saying:) We are all different and great in our own way, and that's what makes this world an interesting place. Not everyone in the world will be a Mother Teresa or a Gandhi or an Abraham Lincoln or a Martin Luther King, Jr. And that’s fine. In your own way, you are great, you are achieving greatness, your self-worth is much higher than you think it is.
There are some people who, without being egomaniacs, think highly of themselves, who have high self-esteem, have a high level of self-worth. Is that a bad thing? No, not at all. In fact, if they can feel this positive way about themselves with an appropriate level of humility, they are in a very good place in life. It's ok to feel good about yourself ... we LIKE feeling good about ourselves, whether it be from recognition by others, acknowledgement of our own positive self-worth, or a combination of the two. We are worthy. You are worthy. Don't feel bad about feeling good about yourself.
You may be just one person in this world, but you could be (and probably are) the world to one person (and let’s be honest, it’s probably to more than just one person). There are many people, family, friends, etc. who mean the world to me. In that way and in my eyes, they have achieved greatness, just like you have. And they continue to achieve this greatness in small ways, in big ways, in many different ways by the way they’ve affected me in my life and in the way I see them trying to make a difference in the lives of those around them. And those people who look up to you, to whom you are the world, you might not even know they think that way of you. But believe me, we’re out there, and we do, and we love you so very much.
Some people, both past and present, have been deemed great; they have done great things to make the world a better place, whether it be on a small scale, or globally. It has been said that everyone is destined for greatness. The issue I have with that statement lies in the term destined. I’m on the fence when it comes to destiny, pre-determination, fate. I believe that we have been given free will, the ability to make choices along the way on our life-path. However, I do believe that everyone has the potential for greatness, and that everyone actually achieves this greatness.
Of course, determining self-worth or greatness can be a very subjective thing. There are also varying degrees of greatness. Different levels, if you will. And we, ourselves, are not always the ones who determine our own greatness or self-worth. If asked if she were a great person who has done great things, Mother Teresa (who few would argue her greatness) would probably down-play all that she had achieved and accomplished. Did she know that she was helping so many people? Probably. But she was also a very humble person. At the end of the film “Schindler’s List”, Oskar Schindler (again, few would debate the great deeds he did in helping save thousands of Jews from Nazi concentration camps) seemed to feel like he hadn’t done enough; that he could have helped more people if he’d had more time, if pawned his ring, and so on, and tried just a little harder. He is a good example of how often we are much harder on ourselves than we ought to be. Others can see the great things that we’ve done and rarely think that we could or should have done more. These two people are good examples of people who have achieved greatness on a large scale. And these people are few and far between (though there are many, many, many unsung heroes who have done or are doing as much good, if not more, in the world who have not received the kind of recognition that Mother Teresa or Oskar Schinlder have received). But you can be great and you will achieve...you ARE achieving greatness on a different level, on a different plane than they right now. And is that any more or less significant? Not in the least. It’s just different.
Self-worth is often determined by others. Can we determine our own self-worth? Yes, we can, but I will guarantee that the level we deem for ourselves will be far lower than it actually is (unless you’re an egomaniac). Determining self-worth and greatness is something that sometimes others measure for us. It is the way others feel about you. It is from the gestures (be they small or large) you offer someone. It can be in a smile, in a greeting, in helping someone, in making someone feel special, in being generous, in being understanding, in being there, in making them laugh, sometimes all it is is taking the time to listen when someone needs to talk. The relationships you’ve formed, the friendships you have, and the way your friends feel about you determines your greatness. And your friends think you're amazing. Why? Because you're special to them. You're important to them. They look up to you and see you differently than you see yourself. They aspire to be like you, just like sometimes you wish you could be more like them. Here's a secret: the way you feel about your friends and family and how much you love them is probably how they feel about you. Don't forget that. Does that mean that friends and family won't ever get on your nerves? No. They will. And some friends will come and some will go, but your true friends stick by you no matter what. If you feel like you're all alone, don't be afraid to reach out to family and/or friends. Never be afraid to ask for their help. (Sorry about that tangent, I get carried away sometimes with my thoughts ... but I felt it needed to be said. Getting back to what I was saying:) We are all different and great in our own way, and that's what makes this world an interesting place. Not everyone in the world will be a Mother Teresa or a Gandhi or an Abraham Lincoln or a Martin Luther King, Jr. And that’s fine. In your own way, you are great, you are achieving greatness, your self-worth is much higher than you think it is.
There are some people who, without being egomaniacs, think highly of themselves, who have high self-esteem, have a high level of self-worth. Is that a bad thing? No, not at all. In fact, if they can feel this positive way about themselves with an appropriate level of humility, they are in a very good place in life. It's ok to feel good about yourself ... we LIKE feeling good about ourselves, whether it be from recognition by others, acknowledgement of our own positive self-worth, or a combination of the two. We are worthy. You are worthy. Don't feel bad about feeling good about yourself.
You may be just one person in this world, but you could be (and probably are) the world to one person (and let’s be honest, it’s probably to more than just one person). There are many people, family, friends, etc. who mean the world to me. In that way and in my eyes, they have achieved greatness, just like you have. And they continue to achieve this greatness in small ways, in big ways, in many different ways by the way they’ve affected me in my life and in the way I see them trying to make a difference in the lives of those around them. And those people who look up to you, to whom you are the world, you might not even know they think that way of you. But believe me, we’re out there, and we do, and we love you so very much.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
